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A Husband’s Confession

May 14, 2011

This morning events have been unsettling for me. I decide to calm my thoughts by watering my plants and enjoying the Florida sun. I am lost in my troubling thought as I let the warm sun calm my body. I am forced into the present as cold water splashing on my feet and see my plant spitting it out as I hold a nearly empty watering can. I try to take my mind off this dreadful feeling in my gut that something is terribly wrong. I cannot understand why Gerard acted so impatient to get to his clients at the Salvation Army. Why is he going on a Saturday? He rarely does.

Again, I try to continue to tend to my plant until I hear sound of tires close by. I turn to see my husband driving in the carport. This does not look like the man I last saw. His face is white and sweaty. Is he sick or has he just heard horrible news. My body starts to tremble and a lump forms in my throat. We both enter on opposite sides of our porch and pause briefly as I try to make eye contact. He walks off into the kitchen with his work bag. The panic sets in as I following him into our home.

“What is the matter? You look very upset.” There is a pause as I look intensely at him trying to get him to look at me. He turns away from me.

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